sometimes when my brain is congested, it coughs, and words come out.

listenout asked: grampssssssss. why did our band break up?

because other than you, we had no musical talent :/ also, we didn’t have any songs, which didn’t help our cause.

…we gave it a good run though didn’t we?

elyknevets asked: Can you describe the first time you fell in love using colors as your primary descriptor?

i was a shade of red, she was a shade of blue.
and i wanted desperately to live the rest of my life
in some perfect shade of purple. 

adimlylitmirror asked: When is a door not a door?

when it’s a(jar). and hopefully a(jar) full of nutella.

surfinginseattle asked: Top 5 favorite books?

1. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
2. East of Eden by John Steinbeck
3. Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer  
4. How the Soldier Repairs the Gramophone by Sasa Stanisic
5. The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein 

bonus: anything by C.S. Lewis (non fiction), Carl Sagan, or H.P. Lovecraft 

feel free to send any questions to my inbox! surprise me :)

i inhale the words
you tie so neatly
to your breath

my top 20 favorite films.

1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
2. Les Quatre cents coups (1959)
3. The Thin Red Line (1998)
4. The Apartment (1960)
5. George Washington (2000)
6. L’Enfant (2005)
7. The Tree of Life (2011)
8. the Empire Strikes Back (1980)
9. Vertigo (1958)
10. It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)
11. the Royal Tenenbaums (2001) 
12. E.T. Extraterrestrial (1982)
13. Garden State (2004)
14. the Sixth Sense (1999)
15. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
16. Roman Holiday (1953)
17. Before Sunrise (1995)
18. Reprise (2006)
19. Solaris (1972)
20. Dead Poets Society (1989)

what are some of yours?

i feel everything so close to me:
silence and thunder,
stillness and storm.
the warmth of light
the chill of darkness.
a binary life, a paradox.
the despairing hope
of temporary beating
i will love, and yearn to be loved,
(this is what it means to be human)
to create art with thought
music with skin
poetry with breath.
to sleep in the abyss
and dream of stars. 

the sea has been whispering
its secrets

photos by @thedustdancestoo

kels6ey asked: I wish I could look in the mirror and see my beauty and know that I matter. But I see nothing. Thank you for your kind words about how all people matter. They brought me to tears.


you are welcome, and thank you very much for taking the time to write me!

some thoughts, that I hope might help:

i think there is an inherent flaw in finding our worth in the mirror, one that most of us experience. we search for beauty there, but we’ll never find it, because mirrors lie. in many ways, they tell us what we think we see, a culmination of expectations, insecurities, and media/pop culture lies that have permeated our thinking over the years, not a true reflection of who we really are, and definitely our beauty. don’t get me wrong, our bodies, the physical: eyes, lips, hair, hands, arms, breasts, legs, smiles… are wonderful parts of our humanity and being, parts meant to be cherished and enjoyed, parts that shape our uniqueness. they are beautiful, but they are only a SMALL PART of our beauty. even the absence of certain physical characteristics is not a deterrent of physical beautiful. not at all. surface beauty is an opinion that is both subjective and easily malleable/constantly evolving. if we look at the changes of “beauty” for both men and (especially) women even in society the last 100 years, you can see how fickle it is. which is why we cant hold our self worth and self beauty up to that false standard, even if it is hard not to (and it is).

so that’s why i encourage you, and others (myself included because most people fall prey to this) to look beyond the mirror, or better yet, close your eyes and find the beauty there. find beauty in your breathing, your heartbeat, the fact you are alive. find beauty in your thoughts, in your ability to move, and create. but most of all, find beauty in your ability to LOVE, which is, essentially the most powerful example of beauty in existence. We have the ability to love, to show compassion and hope and light in a world that can sometimes feel so tumultuous and dark, we ARE the force of change and goodness. isn’t that amazing and powerful?

maybe when we realize the importance of ourselves, of our dreams, our creativity, our breath, our love, we will then be able to see also the true beauty and uniqueness of our exteriors. the fact that we are each wondrous and important, that beneath our lovely covers lies a complex and perfect story, one that is so extremely vibrant and beautiful.

anyways, these are just some thoughts. i don’t know everything (by far) and i don’t know you, but even so, i do know these two simple truths: you are beautiful, and you will always be.